My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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