bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
