Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They are going to name an STD after you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
