the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
