Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
