Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
