I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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