so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
