Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
