Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
