Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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