I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
