I wannas sexs uuuuu
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
