she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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