thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
