capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im holly from the hills drunk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
