I got chris browned last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
