One girl and one boy is just not enough.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
