what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
