Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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