I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
