hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
