Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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