Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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