so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My Sexting was not on an AP level
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
