I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
