She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
