I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
