I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
