maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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