South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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