this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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