I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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