I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
