who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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