is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
