I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't deserve a penis
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
