So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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