Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
