woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
