a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
