I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
