i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
