Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
someone owes me an orgasm
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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