oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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