Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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