I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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