I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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