You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
