I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
