This is not my ceiling
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
