walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
