ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I FOUND THE LEGS
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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