how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i wish my penis had a tongue
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
